Today, or rather yesterday, marks the month I choose to be happy. Ironically enough, this month is also the first anniversary of my mother’s passing. But this is my favorite month of the year and it was also my mom’s. She watched the leaves turn from her hospital window when her brain was riddled with a glioblastoma multiforme brain tumor and still had strength of a warrior. She would tell me it was a beautiful day outside and everything would be okay.
I have forgotten how amazingly profound she was, I always teased her about trying to make every situation so sappy. But now I am so completely thankful she did that. She always made sure we saw the beauty in every situation. And my dad with his permasmile on his face was hard to ignore, even as an angsty teenager.
I was blessed and this month I choose to remember that. I choose to be happy. Here’s to 30 Days of Happy!
This month, every day I am going to make myself to do something that makes me happy. I refuse to be sucked into despair and depression with my mom’s upcoming anniversary of her death. It’s so morbid, in a way. And I know my parents would not want me fixated on how and when they died. Rather I should concentrate on how they lived. And that was with fervor.
So, on this very first day of my 30 Days of Happy, I decided to go for a bike ride on the bike trail. I have been wanting to do this for a while. I was so excited the day I got my bike but I haven’t been out by myself because I always feel guilty leaving the kids when I know they want to ride bikes too. But you know what? Sometimes you have to be a selfish mom and leave. Even if they cry and scream it’s okay. They will be okay.
So I put my bike in the car and drove over to the rail trail. It’s in the more rural part of where I live so the parking lot was pretty secluded but surrounded by beautiful trees just starting to change color. As I was biking, I could remember the feeling I had as a kid riding my bike. Just sheer freedom. I can’t believe I have been without a bike for 15 years. I can’t wait to do it again.
— FiveSpotGreenLiving (@fivespotgrnlvng) October 2, 2015