I love you my little one. I love you forever and ever and always. But some days I am itching to get out of the house. Alone. Just for a bit of peace. I am tired of peeing with an audience. I am tired of cleaning up the mess when you have to do everything yourself.
I am tired.
Tired at bedtime when I have to ask you to brush your teeth 10 times. Or sit for 20 minutes while you stumble through reading a new book. Or listening to you tell me you can’t sleep when you only just lay down. I am tired but hold onto my patience, thanks to God who gives me strength.
I am patient.
Patient when you want to look at every flower on the way inside the grocery store, for you already know the wonder of stopping and smelling the flowers.
You yell at me and you tell me you don’t like me but I am patient. Because I know it’s hard being a kid. I know it’s hard not being able to always do what you want. I know sometimes you are mad because I don’t let you eat ice cream for breakfast or jump off the couches.
Sometimes even I yell at you. I don’t mean to, but sometimes I am so weary and tired from cleaning faces and hands and making cheese sandwiches. Sometimes I want to bury my head in my computer and drown you out. But I still love you.
I love your sweet voice and pudgy hands. I love your constant kisses and I love yous. If I could put you in my pocket and keep you there forever, I would. If I could bottle up your giggles and funny sayings, I would be happy forever. If I could take your smell and keep it on my pillow to sleep with every night when you become too old to snuggle, I would be grateful.
You will grow up and some day you won’t remember telling me you want to sleep with me forever. You won’t remember how much I loved the pictures you made for me or how we danced to kid songs. You won’t remember very much but I hope you remember how much we laughed. Oh how we laughed.
I hope you will. Because I will remember all of it.
I love you little one. I love you forever and ever and always.